Monday, August 18, 2014

"Whoever causes one of these little ones to sin..."

When I first started this blog, I said that I would use it to write about things I've learned and also things to which I don't yet have an answer. This post is one of the latter.

I think every parent knows that we can often learn some of the most surprising insights from our children.  Today as I sat in the church of one of our TEE pastors, I noticed something in the little children playing around the church. This observation combined with my current experience with our own children to get me thinking about a potentially serious issue.

At church yesterday, about five or six little children were sitting near the front of the room while the pastor was preaching.  They would sit a while, get up, go outside, eat a snack, and keep themselves occupied while the service was going on.  I noticed one little boy who had a marble - just one.  He would roll it around, bounce it across the floor, toss it outside, laugh, and go chase it.  Another boy had some kind of a small tin can about the size of a sardine can with maybe a 12-inch-long metal rod stuck through the middle of it.  It was nothing.  He sat there looking at it, turning it this way and that, spinning the can on the wire, running it across the floor, and smiling.  Before too long "metal boy" and "marble boy” were sitting beside each other.  Metal boy seemed about three years old and marble boy was probably two.  While I watched them, marble boy showed his marble to the older boy and then handed his prized ball over to him.  The older boy took the marble and smiled and handed the little boy his tin can toy.

Fast forward to that afternoon (or about any afternoon in this month).  Kyle and Ellee are playing together.  Kyle is holding his two favorite motorcycles which he lost back in the States, but were recovered and mailed to him by our family last week.  Ellee is over by the TV pulling out every toy in the bottom drawer.  Finally she settles on one of Kyle’s planes and crawls over to Mommy and me, smiling and giggling about her special toy.  Kyle hears the happy sounds and comes over to see what’s going on.  “Ellee, no, that’s my plane,” he says, trying to take it away.  “No, Kyle, let her play with it.  You haven’t been interested in those planes all day.”  After some grabbing and maybe some crying, he goes back to his motorcycles.  Snack time comes and suddenly the motorcycles are sitting alone while Kyle eats his apple.  Seeing her opportunity, Ellee speed-crawls to grab a motorcycle and the fight ensues again.

Those were my observations.  Neither one is complete, I’m sure.  I know Kyle and Ellee are sometimes very good at sharing toys and playing together nicely.  And I’m sure the two boys also have times when they don’t get along.  But my observations got me thinking about possessions.  How often do we observe that those with less are more inclined to share and those with more and more inclined to hoard?  It’s one of the things I hear most often about cross-cultural mission trips: “These people have nothing, but they insisted on feeding us and caring for our needs.”  I hear missionaries raising support for the field (and have been one) wondering why the family with the giant house can’t spare $20 per month or why the church with the million-dollar budget can’t give $100 per month to see the gospel spread.  Why is this?

The West is rich; the Majority World is poor.  The West is typically selfish; the Majority World typically shares.  Are these factors totally unrelated?  Is it only our individualist mindset vs. their collectivist mindset?  Or is it that the more we get, the less we give?

Our kids have literally a tent full of toys.  Most of them were the favorite at one point or another.  We have trouble getting rid of the toys because we remember how much he once loved them (oh my goodness, this tore me apart when we were moving to Africa and had to give away most of Kyle’s baby toys).  But eventually, the new one replaces the old one.  As a parent, I still walk through the toy store (occasionally) and think, “Oh, my kid would like that so much!”  Like our heavenly Father, I do love to “give good gifts” to my children.  I love to see the surprise and excitement when Kyle’s favorite movie character jumps off of the screen and becomes a plastic buddy in his hand to accompany him on his daily adventures.  But I wonder, am I hurting him in my good intentions?  Are my “good gifts” really “good”?

What is the problem?  Why do the kids with one toy share so happily and the kids with many fight over one?  Is it just our children’s inherent sinfulness?  Is it the selfish heart, the lust of the eyes, and the greed of human dissatisfaction?  Or is it the tyranny of the new?  Are their desires becoming ruled by the fact that they often get something new and so the new becomes “mine”?

This makes me wonder even more: Are our possessions a blessing from God or a curse from Satan?  What does Jesus call our “needs”?  He said, “...do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on . . . your heavenly Father knows that you need them all” (Mt 6:25, 32).  He doesn’t even mention a house.  He said, “the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Mt 8:20).  These are the things Jesus says we need.  He gives us much beyond that, but we must be careful to realize that they are not needs.  He never promised abundant possessions.  So when we have abundant possessions, are they really from God?  Or does God give all we need (and more) and then Satan gives us abundance to corrupt our desires and turn our hearts away from God because “you cannot serve God and money” (Mt 6:24).

I've heard it said before, and thus far have seen it consistent throughout Scripture, that Satan is not an innovator as much as he is a corruptor.  That is, he does not invent new evils or create new types of sin.  Rather, he takes those things which God has given in good measure and corrupts them towards evil purposes.  He takes the high value God has placed on man and makes man to overvalue himself.  He takes God's good intentions for sexuality and tempts man to take it outside of the boundaries God has set.  Could he also turn God's good purposes for work into overwork?  Could he not try to corrupt God's faithful provision of possessions and turn it into selfishness and idolatry and "the love of money," which is the root of all kinds of evil?

Considering these things makes me think of more questions.  What does this say about missionaries who spend all their time giving away possessions to those who have less?  Are they helping at all?  I know missionaries who do this 24/7.  It’s all they do.  Certainly it is motivated by compassion.  We love to see the African and Mexican children receiving toys, footballs, and candy.  We feel happy to know that we have given to help them.  Furthermore, we want to do these compassionate ministries as a way to show Christ’s love to the world, praying that they will see Him, believe in Him, and receive Him.  These are right motives.  But are they right actions?

What about programs like Operation Christmas Child?  We in the West celebrate Christmas by giving gifts.  We assume everyone else should, too.  Our cultural lenses let us see this in the three wise men who gave gifts to Jesus at the first “Christmas.”  Somehow, though it’s not the same.  The magi didn’t give the gifts to each other!

This is not even about creating dependence, “When Helping Hurts,” "When Charity Destroys Dignity,” or transformational development principles.  Are we helping at all?  Or are we exporting our materialism to the children of the world?  Are we “causing one of these little ones to sin”?

These are my thoughts.  I don’t have the answers.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

10 Things Missionaries Don't Tell You Enough

I try not to write reactionary posts.  This one certainly is.  But I trust that I can write this without sounding reactionary or disagreeable.

I saw a post going around Facebook.  It was actually a link that several missionaries I know shared on their pages.  When I saw the title, I immediately wanted to read it, expecting to share it myself.  However, once I was finally able to access it tonight, I really didn't like it at all!  It sounded like it was written by a tired, burnt-out missionary who needs more than a little time on home assignment.  I certainly identified with some of the things written on the post, but felt that the perspective was incredibly pessimistic under it's cover of "being real."  So I thought instead to write my own post, aligned with the same 10 ideas, giving what I believe to be a better perspective on them (and perhaps to rescue us missionaries from being clumped into a group who all think like this man does).  The original post is called "10 Things Missionaries Won't Tell You."  You may read the article here for cross-reference: http://www.adammosley.com/2014/07/05/10-things-missionaries-wont-tell/
I've decided to call my post "10 Things Missionaries Don't Tell You Enough."


10 Things Missionaries Don't Tell You Enough:

1. We love to hear from you!
- There are not many things more encouraging that getting a short email from home saying, "Hi, how are you? We were thinking about you today.  How is the family?  We love you."  It tells us that you had a moment, we were on your minds and in your prayers, and it meant enough to you to take a moment and tell us.  In an age of instant communication, it doesn't take us any more than 5-15 minutes to reply to an email or Facebook message and we are more than happy to do that and stay connected with you back home.  Perhaps don't ask us to write you back a full-blown theology of mission, but we are always blessed to hear from you - especially in response to a newsletter we've just sent (then we know you've read it!).

2. We look through every comment and every "like" on our Facebook posts.
- It is encouraging to see who is following our lives, even in the small, everyday matters.  When I get on Facebook during my breakfast in the morning, I scroll through my notifications.  I admit also that on nearly every post or picture I've shared, I read through all of the comments and usually look through the names of everybody who "liked" those posts.  Am I a Facebook addict?  I don't think so.  It's just nice to know that people care about us, they follow us, they "like" us!

3. We are offering you the chance to invest in God's kingdom work.
- Yes, we too often see ourselves as Christian beggars, asking you to give us money so we can do something important for God. It is easy to feel guilty for that sometimes. But the fact is that we are offering you the chance to invest your money in something eternal - to "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and rust do not corrupt and thieves do not break through and steal."  We are giving you the opportunity to expand your sphere of eternal influence beyond where you can go yourself.  Is that selfish?  Is that begging?  If it is begging, it is begging on God's behalf.  It is begging you to do something eternally beneficial for yourself.  You give your money to God.  We give our time and service to God.  It is a ministry partnership - both of us together for Him!

4. You don't want to or need to hear of our worst days.
- And we don't need to hear of yours either.  There is no point in discouraging each other with a mutual pity party.  Does anybody like to see those Facebook posts of "Oh what a miserable day I'm having.  Like this if you are having one, too."  We have difficult days over here.  But I'll bet you have some difficult days, too.  We haven't earned a special degree of bad days by going overseas; we probably just have different reasons for our days being bad.  Apart from openness, vulnerability, and mutual support with those closest to us, we don't need to lay our problems on the world.

5. We take breaks and vacations - like the one you just finished.
- I admit to the difficulties of this area.  Because our work is one that is supported very directly by others, we may struggle with feelings of guilt over "wasting" the money that people have sent to support us.  We may think it unwise to post pictures on Facebook of our beachfront view hotel or our fancy dinner out.  But apart from these concerns, we need breaks just like everyone else.  And we take them!  There is a fine line between considering the effect our actions may have on others and the fear of man, which "brings a snare."  We see the pictures that all of our friends back home post of their vacations.  We see the exotic locations, the fancy meals, the swimming pools, the cruises, and the mountain hikes.  We see the pictures coming up for a week or more.  But because those were financed by business income instead of missionary support, it's somehow justified.  We, on the other hand, may post about the beautiful guest house we're booking in Durban next week.  But we won't tell you it cost less than $60 per night, instead of hundreds.  We won't tell you we were there for three days instead of a week.  We won't tell you that we drove there for about $100 in fuel and not thousands of dollars in plane tickets.  If we all held each other to the same standards, we would have no problem in showing you our vacation.

6. Hosting teams can be a benefit to our field ministries.
- I hope I'm not speaking beyond my ability here.  We have not yet hosted "a team" in our overseas ministry.  I'm sure that much stress can be involved in the logistics of planning to host a short-term missions team.  But I would think that much of that difficulty could be avoided if we would have a proper view of STM's in the first place.  Should not a STM team be planned based on its ability to further a field ministry and not only on the desire of the team to see the field ministry in person?  Do not the missionaries have the right (I would say responsibility) to turn down a team who wanted to come visit if their visit would not aid the ministry and could even hinder the ministry for a time?  Perhaps the need for finances and the promotion of one's ministry back home too often pushes a missionary to host a team they can't really accommodate.  Better instead to refuse the team or limit its size to a manageable number who may actually be able to further the ministry.  The movement critically called "voluntourism" may be getting out of control and can only be curtailed by somebody making the hard decisions.

7. Chances to go home are a tremendous blessing.
- Assuming the arguments already made in point 5 (we take breaks) and looking forward to point 10 (we miss our families), going home is not about getting rest.  When we are on the field, we speak often of home.  We recount memories of home.  We daydream about what favorite restaurants we will eat at again when we get home.  We miss our friends and we miss our families more.  So when we have the opportunity to go home, we're not there to sleep!  We're not there to hole up in our houses and say, "Ahhh! This was nice when I lived here."  We want to see our people, attend our churches, tell people about the amazing things God is doing on the other side of the world.  I felt bad many mornings at home when I slept late or when we were alone with nobody around.  "Why are we doing this here?  We can be alone while we're over there!"  Certainly there is a balance and we don't want to be run into the ground catching up, traveling, and speaking.  But every opportunity to visit home is a blessing and a refreshment, in spite of any difficulties.

8. We must work to make God our first priority.
- As mentioned above (point four), we're no different from you in this.  Yes, there is certainly still a stereotype that missionaries are the most God-centered people in the world and must have no problem spending hours a day alone with Him.  But that is largely a shattered lens these days, I believe.  Our lives are busy; your lives are busy.  We must make our relationship with God a priority; you must make your relationship with God a priority.  There is nothing more to be said here.

9. We have some of the deepest life relationships with believers from other cultures.
- Few things I know of will knit hearts together more closely and more permanently than true intercultural friendships.  One person alone may work hard to understand another person and may thereby develop a decent friendship with him.  But when two people must put tremendous effort into understanding and appreciating each other, that bond will not be easily broken.  This is especially true in the relationships between believers, where our mutual love for Jesus transfers into our love for each other and our likemindedness for God's cause in the world unites our desires and passions for the ministry.  I doubt that anyone can fully appreciate this bond until he or she has experienced it personally.

10. We look forward to eternal company in heaven.
- Yes, we get lonely.  That is one of the most difficult parts of being on the foreign field.  But why do we do it?  Family is the first relationship God gave us on this earth.  Why would we abandon that family and move to another part of the planet, removing our children from those families as well?  Because one day we became part of a bigger family.  We became part of an eternal family.  And the Head of that family asked, no, commanded us to go and invite into that family others whom He loves and desires.  We leave our first families on one part of this planet because our new family (of which many of our first family members are also a part!) is all across the planet!  One day we will be able to be together permanently, even eternally, as one big, happy family and that is what we look forward to.  That is why we endure the loneliness now for the fellowship later.


These are the things that we missionaries don't tell you enough.  But they are all true.